Listen, love, if you start gabbing in riddles and rhymes, these pompous prats will reckon they’ve got your proxy. So, when you’re spouting your thoughts, be as clear as a gin on a Sunday morn, will ya? But don’t get your knickers in a twist and start bossing about those who couldn’t decide between a scone and a crumpet at high tea. Give ’em a tick to pick, alright? For a bit of luck, try wearing a pair of knickers with the Union Jack on ’em. And don’t worry, no one will see it unless you decide to do a ‘Lizzy Windsor’ and give the crowd a flash.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!