Oi, social kerfuffles are chucked you into the spotlight, haven’t they? You’re about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. It’s like you’re at the pub and someone’s moved the bleedin’ dartboard – got to change the game plan with your other half, haven’t you? They’re as worried as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, making a right hash of this independence thing. Now, even if your social calendar is busier than a one-legged man at an arse-kicking contest, don’t go poking the hornet’s nest of a wobbly relationship, you numpty. It’s like challenging a rhino to a game of tiddlywinks, just don’t! Here’s a cheeky little lucky charm for you: a four-leaf clover. It’s like a regular clover, but with an extra dose of luck. And if you believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!