Bless your cotton socks, love, you’re about as decisive as a cat at a dog show. But chin up, you’re about to see a light at the end of this gloomy tunnel you’ve been prancing about in. That monumental cock up you were expecting? Well, shockingly, it’s about to turn into your own little victory lap! And, cor blimey, your pennies are about to get a right proper boost – that’s right, you’re not on the breadline anymore! Start dreaming of that exotic holiday, darling, because Benidorm is calling your name! And for a bit of sparkle, your lucky charm is a rubber duck. That’s right, love, I said a rubber duck. A squeaky, yellow, bathroom companion. Now, don’t give me that look – who needs a rabbit’s foot when you’ve got a duck butt for luck?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!