Well, darling, if you were anticipating a red carpet, think again. You’re more likely to get a rug pull, and not the kind that comes with a cheeky wink. The universe has a bag of surprises for you, and they’re not the kind that come with a bow or a receipt. You’re about to realise that reliable people are as scarce as hen’s teeth, and just as likely to bite your arse when you least expect it. Keep the peace with the family, pet; you never know when you might need them to scrape you off the pavement after a night on the tiles. And here’s your little nugget of gold for today: Your lucky item is a rubber duck. Don’t ask why, it just is. Pop it in your bath, chat to it, take it to bed if you like- just don’t take it to a job interview; it doesn’t like PowerPoint presentations.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!