Cor blimey! You’re not giving two hoots about other people’s chinwags, are ya? Your trouble, mate, is that their kettle of fish is so off your bag of tricks, it’s like trying to understand the Queen’s English when they’re spouting Cockney rhyming slang! It’s as attainable as a chip butty in a vegan cafe, innit? But, put in a bit of elbow grease, would ya? Their way of flapping their gums might be as clear as mud, but it’s part of the funny old game, ain’t it? Now here’s a bit of what you fancy – a lucky phrase for you: “Stick it in your pipe and smoke it!” Use it when you’ve had a gutful of their balderdash. It’s as lucky as finding a quid in your old pair of trousers, and twice as satisfying.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!