Cor blimey, darling! Whether you’re labouring harder than a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest to boost your own odds or playing fairy godmother to some ungrateful sod trying to carve out their own patch, patience is your new best mate. Your itch for a change, eager as a frisky schoolboy, might not be everyone’s cup of tea. These muppets might remain as indifferent as a Buckingham Palace guard until you smack them round the head with the potential perks. Lucky charm: A four-leaf clover. Though, knowing your luck, you’d probably find a three-leaf one and a rabbit with a missing foot.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!