Oi, you love sick puppy, looks like Cupid might give your backside a good spanking today! And blimey, your wallet might put on a bit of weight too! Seems like you’re in for a jolly good ride, ain’t you? But remember, every silver lining’s got a bleeding cloud – you might end up chucking a few quid here and there when you’re out and about. As for your health, don’t go thinking you’re Superman by the end of the day. You might end up feeling like you’ve been run over by a double-decker bus! Lucky phrase for you: “I’m as fit as a butcher’s dog!” Use this when you’re trying to impress someone, even if the only exercise you’ve been doing is running your mouth off!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!