Blimey, humans can be as reliable as a chocolate teapot, can’t they? Always skipping out on a natter down the pub or chucking a wobbler and bailing on plans faster than a rat up a drainpipe. If these cheeky sods think they can just change the game willy-nilly, you need to show ’em that two can play at that game. Give ’em a taste of their own medicine and mix up the rules to suit your fancy. As for your lucky charm, it’s a rubber duck. Yes, you heard it right. But don’t laugh, it might just save your bacon next time you’re up the creek without a paddle. Keep this little yellow fella in your pocket and who knows? Maybe you’ll end up having the last quack… I mean, laugh!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!