Blimey, don’t get your knickers in a twist, but you’re about to be served a golden platter of chances that’ll make those pie-in-the-sky dreams of yours look like yesterday’s fish and chips. Don’t go all daft and cock it up now, you’d be a right muppet if you did. The universe is throwing you more bones than a butcher’s dog, so brace yourself for a cracking time. You might need to give yourself a sharp pinch every now and again just to remind you that you’re not just having a kip and dreaming all this up. And here’s a cheeky tip for you, mate: Your lucky colour is blue. So, get your arse out there and wear it like you’re a smurf on a bender. It might not make you look any better, but hey, at least you’ll have a laugh.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!