When you have a gander at your recent triumphs, you’ll be so bloody chuffed you could fart rainbows, because you didn’t let little cock-ups bugger your parade. You’re now feeling chirpy as a budgie on speed, thanking your lucky stars that others are daft enough to trust you. This just shows how much faith they have in your ability to blag your way through life. Your lucky charm is a pint of bitter; it’s just as bitter as you but at least it’s consistently so. Remember, every time you take a swig, you’re not an alcoholic, you’re just very, very thirsty.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!