Well, love, you’re in for a right pickle today, aren’t you? Minor muddle-ups and cock-ups could explode like a cheap firework in a tin can – kaboom! You know that flatmate or colleague who’s as useful as a chocolate teapot? Yeah, the one who couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery, they’ve gone and ballsed up again. But, do you really want to go toe-to-toe with them over it? Would you poke a sleeping bear with a stick? No, darling, because the last thing you need is a strained relationship with someone you see more often than your own reflection. Now, for your little bit of luck: your lucky colour is blue. Why blue, you ask? Well, it reminds you of the sky on a clear day, far from the muck-up your mate’s just made. Maybe if they spent less time gawping at their phone and more time looking up, they wouldn’t be such a calamity!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!