Try not to dodge the dull drudgery of life’s bloody responsibilities, you plonker! Even if you’re just being a cheeky git, attempting to put a smile on someone’s mug, you’ll find it tickles your fancy too. Giving your mates the old heave-ho will just leave you feeling like a right muppet, won’t it? It’s much more satisfying to give a helping hand out of the goodness of your own heart, rather than just because you’ve been roped into it. So, pull your finger out and show some proper British stiff upper lip! Lucky item: A four-leaf clover. But let’s be honest, you’ll probably have more luck finding a sober Irishman at a whiskey festival than one of those in your backyard!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!