Right, listen up, star gazers! You’ve got a bloody letter coming your way that’s about to throw a spanner in your weekend plans. It’s a right kerfuffle! Some cheeky bugger’s going to throw a proposition your way – something social or monetary – but it’s as risky as a naked run through Buckingham Palace. You’ll need to have a good chinwag with yourself, weighing up the gains against what you could lose, like a game of ‘Deal or No Deal’ with the devil himself. Are you ready to jump off this metaphorical cliff? Only you can decide, sunshine! And your lucky charm? It’s a pair of granny’s old knickers. Don’t ask why or how – just trust the stars on this one. They’re a bit like Boris Johnson – you never quite know what they’ll come out with next. Though I reckon they smell better.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!