Bloody hell, you’re reassessing your decisions, aren’t ya? Likely ’cause your life’s going tits up and nothing’s going according to your wee plan. Best advice I can give ya is to stuff your schedule and bob along with the bloody tide! Embrace the chaos, love, because trying to stick to your original plan is about as useful as a chocolate teapot! Now, for your lucky bit: Stick a four-leaf clover in your hat – it’s got more chance of getting you out of this mess than your current strategy. And remember, if anyone asks, it’s not a desperate lucky charm, it’s an ‘alternative life strategy’.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!