Oi, brace yourself love, it’s all goin’ a bit Pete Tong in your gaff. You’re primed for a right knees-up, all you’re thinking about is buggering off for a bit of a chinwag with your mates, maybe even a last-minute lash-up. But hang about, your roomie’s getting their knickers in a twist. They’ve been counting on you to get stuck into the housework, and now they’re as miffed as a bulldog chewing a wasp. Lucky charm: A feather duster. Not for the cleaning, mind you – you can use it to tickle your miffed mate until they’re laughing too hard to remember what they were miffed about. Joan Rivers once said, “I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.” Well, you’re about to be as popular as a Tupperware party in a nudist colony if you don’t sort this out.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!