You might find that your chum or office pal’s motives are as legible as a drunken doctor’s handwriting. That big cheese, up in the ivory tower? They’re not being a pain in your rear, they actually reckon you’ve got the goods. If you chicken out of the next challenge they lob your way, you’ll be kicking yourself harder than a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest. Lucky phrase: ‘Bollocks to regret!’ Say it three times fast every morning before your cuppa. It’ll either cast off any regret or make you so dizzy you’ll forget what you regretted in the first place.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!