Oi, right now, your sole purpose in life is to be a bleeding Mother Teresa – handing out joy and help like it’s going out of fashion. And you’re not even doing it for the kicks – oh no, the gushing ‘thank yous’ are what really get you going. It’s like a drug to you. You’ve got yourself all wrapped up in some nipper’s business, actin’ as their personal cheerleader. Your over-the-top zeal is pushing them to chase their dreams, or in other words, you’re basically their unpaid life coach. Lucky charm: A squeaky rubber duck. Why? Because even in the most dire of situations, it’s always there to remind you that life’s just a big, wet bathtub full of bubbles. Can be used to drown out the noise of ungrateful sods, too.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!