Listen up, sunshine, because something interesting is happening in your life. You’ve got some bossy boots offering you tips and tricks on how to reach for the stars. It’s like you’ve got your own personal Yoda, but probably without the green skin and pointy ears. As this windbag drones on, you’ll notice you’re gravitating towards new mates. It’s as if your current circle of chums have become as boring as a political debate on the telly. You’ve already started drifting apart from some of them. It’s like a soap opera, but without the dramatic soundtrack and overly-teased hair. Just to sprinkle a bit of fairy dust on your day, I’ll give you a lucky something-or-other. Your lucky charm is a three-legged toad. Yeah, you heard me right. I said a three-legged toad. It’s supposed to bring you wealth, but let’s be honest, it’s just a grotesque amphibian. But who knows, maybe it’ll turn into a prince, or at least cover your pint tab at the pub.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!