Love a duck, the stars have been having a right old chinwag about you! You’ve been rallying the troops like an overzealous scout leader on a sugar high. But crikey O’Reilly, one of your comrades has chucked their toys out the pram and legged it without so much as a by-your-leave. There’s been a bit of argy-bargy between you and your mates, and it’s been as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. Despite you doing your best Sherlock Holmes impression, you can’t make head nor tail of this kerfuffle. It’s got you more stumped than a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest. Lucky charm for you, my dear: a four-leaf clover. You’ll need it to navigate this ruddy mess, and remember – a four-leaf clover is like a good bra, hard to find and provides great support when you need it!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!