Alright love, prepare yourself for some shocking news – it’s about bloody time they noticed you, isn’t it? You’ve been grafting harder than a one-legged man at a bum-kicking competition, and at long last, the big wigs are ready to give you a pat on the back. Not that they’ve been doing much else, mind you, other than loafing about like a bunch of lazy sods, ogling your superlative skills from the safety of their ivory towers. But now, it seems your time has come. Perhaps you’re on the brink of bagging that fancy new job, or maybe there’s a shiny award with your name on it. Or, even better, a big, fat cheque might be winging its way to you. Now wouldn’t that be a hoot? Lucky charm of the week? A stuffed parrot. Why? No bloody clue, but it’s sure to be a conversation starter at your victory bash, and you might even get a laugh out of it.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!