Brace yourself, mate! You’re about to become a hit with the new crowd – they’ll be treating you like you’re their oldest chum, rather than the fresh meat you actually are. It’s knackered you out, hasn’t it? You’d rather take a snail’s pace getting to know them, but they’re all over you like a rash. Don’t worry, they’re not after your body… just a favour. And when they hit you with it later in the day, it won’t shock you more than a wet fish to the face. Lucky charm: A rubber duck named Winston. Why? Because even in the murkiest of waters, Winnie keeps floating, just like you’ll need to. Keep him in your pocket for that extra bit of British resilience. And remember, ducks quack up, they never crack up!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!