Alright, my star-gazing crumpet, listen up! The universe is about to serve you a massive slice of cosmic cake. That bloke or bird who’s been buzzing around your existence like a wasp at a picnic? They’re about to do one, leg it, scarper! You’ll be waving them off faster than a royal waving off a scandal. Once they’ve done the off, all those knotty knickers of worry and uncertainty you’ve been wearing will suddenly feel like silk against your bits. It’s all about what’s up ahead, darling, not the old tosh you’ve left behind. Now for your lucky charm, you’ve got the number 7. Seven, love. Not as many as the number of times you’ve considered switching to decaf, but it’ll do. So, paint your front door seven shades of shocking pink or perhaps buy seven lottery tickets – preferably with someone else’s money. Remember, if luck was a ladder, you’d be a snake. So, let’s hope that number 7 comes in handy before you trip over your own ego.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!