Blimey, folks are gobsmacked by your fancy know-how and wisdom. You’re chuffed to bits with your achievements, aren’t you, you smug git? Don’t drop your monocle if a mate or work chum comes sniffing around for some of your brilliant advice – they’re only trying to nick your thunder. By teatime, you’ll be gagging for a bit of peace and quiet, probably to count your spoils or polish your halo. Lucky Charm: A four-leaf clover. Yeah, it’s cliche, but with your luck, you’d probably find a fiver in it.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!