Oi, your ties to the past are being chopped quicker than Prince Harry’s security detail! It’s going to feel as if you’ve been chucked into a washing machine on full spin cycle, all topsy-turvy like. Now, don’t you go playing the blame game and thinking you’re the culprit in this Agatha Christie plot. This mess is as much your doing as the Queen doing a stint on Love Island. These shenanigans are down to the pillocks who couldn’t tell their arse from their elbow when making decisions. Lucky charm: A four-leaf clover. But honestly, it might just get lost in this whirlwind of drama, you’d have better luck finding a needle in a haystack!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!