Even though a new job might kick off with the speed of a geriatric turtle on a zimmer frame, your rapidly inflating ego in your abilities will soon have you strutting about like the cock of the walk amongst your mates. By the time the sun kisses the horizon, your two pennies will be more sought after than the last pint at a lock-in, as everyone’s suddenly desperate for a bit of your wisdom. People are gagging to get a taste of your pearls of wisdom, probably ’cause they’re bored of their own drivel. Lucky charm for you: A horseshoe. But mind you, if you’re expecting it to help you win the lottery, you’re more likely to get kicked by the horse it came from. So, better keep it as a hilarious conversation starter at parties.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!