Crikey, mate, you’ll need more patience than a saint in a brothel to sort out the cock-up you’ve made before. But, Bob’s your uncle, you’ll manage to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. You’ll be having a chinwag with someone you’re sweet on, nattering about things you’ve dodged more skillfully than a politician answering direct questions. Lucky charm: A rubber duck. Why? Because if your life is going down the drain, you might as well have something that floats.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!