Even with the bloody constant barrage of questions from nosy parkers, you’re dead set to crack on with your top secret plan. You’re hoping to rake in the pounds with this gig, although it’s proving to be a slower burner than you first thought. Being a snail might just be your saving grace here, so quit your bellyaching. Lucky charm: A tortoise – because even in the race of life, slow and steady can still make you a bloody fortune. Just hope it doesn’t go tits up before you reach the finish line!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!