You thought things would go as smooth as a gravy train, didn’t ya? Now it’s all gone tits up and it’s up to you to sort out this dog’s dinner. You’re trying your best, bless your cotton socks, but it’s like someone’s taken a gander at your efforts and thought, “Not on your nelly, mate.” Your lucky charm today is a pair of knickers. Not because they’ll bring good fortune, but because with the way your day’s going, you’re probably going to need a fresh pair.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!