Your usually chipper chum is currently acting like a cat with a cucumber up its tailpipe. It’s a right hoot, ain’t it? The infuriating bit is that the rest of your motley crew are busier than a one-legged man at a bum-kicking contest, leaving you feeling as wanted as a fart in a spacesuit. Looks like you’re going to have to take the reins, Muppet-style, and sort the bits and bobs out yourself. Oh, and your lucky charm? It’s a teabag. Yes, a bloody teabag. Great for brewing up a storm, or in your case, steeping in your own misery. Enjoy!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!