I’ve got a right corker for you today! There’s a posh job going, and everyone’s been bending your ear to apply. You might be shaking in your boots, thinking you’re about as likely to bag this job as a one-legged man is to win a bum kicking contest. But don’t you worry your pretty little head, chuck on your best ‘can do’ attitude and chuck your hat in the ring. Apparently, the head honcho’s been sniffing around for someone with your peculiar set of skills. You know, the ones you usually keep hidden away like an embarrassing rash. So, pull up your big girl knickers, and make sure to highlight those quirky bits on your CV. You know, the part where you single-handedly saved the company Christmas party by replacing the burnt turkey with a KFC bargain bucket. Oh, and by the way, your lucky phrase for today is “Fake it till you make it.” Use it like a mantra, especially when you’re trying to convince yourself that you’re a competent adult. Just remember, if all else fails, there’s always gin.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!