If you’ve ever had a wet dream about scribbling down your own book, well darling, the New Year is going to be your bloody chum! Your daft ideas are worth about as much as a used teabag, but that’s no reason not to spread them about like marmite on toast. And while you’re at it, why not start yapping into a microphone for a podcast or prattling on a blog? Might as well let the world in on your unique brand of lunacy! Lucky phrase for the day: “As lucky as a dog with two tails.” Just mind you don’t trip over them while you’re busy being the talk of the town!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!