As the dodgy disco ball of the New Year swings precariously overhead, expect your chumships to sink deeper than a ten-ton anchor in a kiddie pool, becoming more meaningful than a drunken midnight confession at the pub. You’ll find yourself fancying a handful of close mates rather than being the ringmaster of a circus of social butterflies – it’s all about the quality of your pals, not the number, darling. After all, who needs a parade when you’ve got a tight-knit band of misfits? So, bugger off from the social malarkey and devote more hours to your creative whims, whether it’s knitting nude portraits or playing the spoons. Your lucky item for the week is a pair of red knickers. Apparently, they’re supposed to bring good luck, but let’s be honest, they’re more likely to induce a fit of giggles – or a restraining order.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!