Well, well, well…looks like you’re about to skip merrily down the yellow brick road of self-improvement, you little masochist. You’re signing up for a class just for fun, but don’t be surprised if it ends up dragging you, kicking and screaming, down a new career path. You’ll flourish under some well-meaning mentor who’s been deluded into thinking you’ve got talent. Get ready to wave goodbye to your social life, comfort and sanity, you poor lamb, in the pursuit of top grades. But don’t worry, your dedication will eventually pay off when you’re standing in the unemployment line with a fancy certificate and a crushing sense of disillusionment. Oh, and here’s your lucky charm: a rubber chicken. Why? Because when life gives you lemons, juggle them with poultry. It’s about as useful as most of the advice you’ll get.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!