Well, love, you’re banging on like a Duracell bunny, ain’t ya? Even when your batteries are on the blink, you’re still hopping around convinced you’re as fit as a fiddle. Mate, you might be more deluded than a bloke in a pub claiming he’s never had a pint! Maybe put a pin in the big stuff till next week, yeah? Right now, you’re about as ready for serious issues as a fish is ready for a bike ride. And, if you’ve been squabbling with your partner, running your gob might just sort it. You know, like how airing your dirty laundry in public always leads to a tidy wardrobe…not! Your lucky item for the week is a can of Red Bull – it gives you wings, they say! Just don’t start flapping about like a headless chicken, we’ve got enough clowns in the circus already.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!