Oi, listen up, you cheapskate! If you’ve got yourself knee-deep in some do-gooder community hoo-ha that’s skint, it’s high time you pestered some local loaded toff. Yes, you heard me right, butter ’em up like a Sunday roast. They’ll see the worth of your tomfoolery and might just cough up the dosh you need to kickstart this circus. Don’t be shy now, nothing ventured, nothing gained, and all that bollocks. Lucky tip for you: Keep a four-leaf clover in your back pocket. It’s as useful as a chocolate teapot, but you might get a laugh when you sit down and crunch!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!