Tell yourself to pack it in with the constant put-downs, love, whether they’re at your own expense or someone else’s – at least until the bells ring in the New Year. We’re all sick to the back teeth of it, frankly. By blowing a bit of smoke up others-backsides and giving them a pat on the back, you’ll break out of this dreary, Groundhog Day style rut. This just might give you the chance to try something wild, like eating a biscuit without dunking it in your tea first. Shocking, right? Your lucky item for the week is a brass doorknob. Why? Because if you polish it enough, you might just see your own reflection and realise you’ve been a bit of a knob yourself. Cheeky!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!