Marvellous, darling, the universe seems to be sending you a telegram: “Stop ignoring your spiritual side, you twit!” You’ve been treating your inner-self like a neglected pot plant, haven’t you? Well, Christmas is coming, so instead of stuffing your face with mince pies, how about you stuff some spirituality into that empty cranium of yours? Aim to spend a bit more time in the future doing things that make you feel all meaningful and deep – and no, watching reruns of ‘EastEnders’ doesn’t count. And for your lucky charm, pull on your favourite red socks. No, not the crusty ones under your bed, you animal. Red is your lucky colour, you see. And yes, they might make your feet look like they’ve been dipped in a ketchup bottle, but who cares? We’re going for luck here, not a fashion statement.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!