Well, darling, it appears some nosy parker who thinks they know you better than your own shadow has decided to pipe up about your passionate displays and rapid-fire tantrums. Honestly, it’s like living with a flaming volcano on a bad day, isn’t it? Now, keeping a lid on this emotional lava will be as crucial for your career as a royal needing a decent scandal to stay relevant. You might be faced with a task as appealing as a cold cup of tea, but trust me, darling, you’ll rise to it like a pensioner to a blue light special. And as for those sly foxes who seem to do bugger all and still come up smelling of roses, well, let them be. Holding a grudge is like holding a fart, dear, eventually it just hurts you. Here’s your lucky charm: a four-leaf clover. But knowing your luck, darling, it’ll probably be three leaves and a receipt from Tesco. A little advice? Don’t bother looking for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you’ll more likely find a gnome with a bad attitude and a worse hangover.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!