Oi, you money-muddled muppet! Now’s not the time to be waving your wallet around like a drunken sailor on payday, especially if it’s gonna spark a barney. Listen ‘ere, no need to go launching new schemes with names odder than a one-legged duck, or starting up some dodgy business venture that’s as promising as a fart in a spacesuit. Rather, get your ducks in a row, yeah? Finish what you’ve started for once, instead of leaving things half-done like a lazy sloth on a Sunday. And here’s a bit of good fortune for you, you lucky bugger: “The early bird might catch the worm, but it’s the second mouse that gets the cheese.” So, don’t rush into things like a headless chicken. You’ve got more chance of finding a golden nugget in a dog turd than success in your harebrained schemes.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!