Blimey! Your mate’s gone and blown you out for the day. You’re gutted, innit? But don’t sit there bawling into your crumpets. This is the golden chance you’ve been gagging for to do a bit of navel-gazing. You can now finally nose-dive into that weird hobby you’ve been dying to try. Like collecting toenail clippings or starting a belly-button lint appreciation society. Yeah, right, like you’ve got untapped potential… Well, now’s the time to tap that, darling! Lucky charm: A plucked chicken feather. Might tickle your fancy or help you dust off those ridiculous dreams of yours.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!