Well, darling, it appears you’ve been stirring the pot a bit too much, haven’t you? But don’t play coy with me, we both know that some of the verbal punch-ups in your love life are down to your own dodgy behaviour. So, what’s the skinny? Has your once roaring love flame fizzled down to a pathetic little sparkler? Is it really worth clutching onto a romance that’s about as enjoyable as a root canal without anaesthetic? Lucky charm: A rubber duck. Because at this point, even a squeaky bath toy would provide more emotional support than your current partner.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!