“Oi, you’re feeling a bit naff, innit? Instead of hoofing it to the chemist for a DIY approach, maybe give a real doctor a ring. Your knackered state could be ‘cos you’re working harder than a one-legged bloke in a bum-kicking contest. Time to pull a sickie, love, and pass the buck for a bit.” And talking about luck, you know what they say, a bird in the hand makes a right mess. So your lucky charm is a feather duster. Keep it handy to clean up those unexpected messes – or to tickle someone’s fancy when you need a giggle.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!