Listen love, keep your noggin’ chipper because it’s doing wonders for your innards, alright? If you’re feeling a bit off, like you’ve necked too many pints, don’t be a daft prat and go running a marathon, yeah? Instead, get stuck into a bloody good book or slob out in front of the telly with a film you’ve seen a million times. Put on some toe-tapping tunes and tell those moaning Minnies to do one. As for your lucky charm, grab yourself a rubber duck. Why, you ask? Well, it’ll keep you afloat when you’re in deep water and it’s the only bird that won’t tell you off for spending too much time in the bath.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!