Blimey, the only one you can truly count on is your own bloody self. Got a mate or work chum who’s as thick as two short planks, not understanding why you’re having a go at them? They wouldn’t understand the value of a gold nugget if it smacked them on the forehead. This is as significant to you as a pint on a Friday night, yet to them, it’s as meaningless as a soggy chip. Use this golden opportunity to mull over your life and your so-called friendships. And here’s your lucky charm, or rather unlucky charm: It’s the number 13. Consider it a reminder that your luck can always be worse, like finding out your best mate ran off with your last rolo. Now isn’t that a kick in the teeth?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!