Cor blimey, mate! Before you go jumping in headfirst like a nude streaker at a footie match, take a gander at the long haul cost of things. You’ll find that the pickle you’re in, whether it’s in your posh office job or down the pub with the lads, might take longer to sort out than a traffic jam on the M25. And once you’ve put your John Hancock on the dotted line, you’re stuck tighter than a sausage in a bun. Now, your better half or your best mate might be as understanding as a nun in a brothel, and they won’t moan like a broken record if you have to ditch your plans together. But don’t you go thinking you can pull that stunt every time! Remember, you’re not Houdini, and this ain’t a magic show! Oh, and here’s your lucky charm: A four-leaf clover, as rare as a polite word from me. But don’t go thinking it’ll solve all your problems. The way you’re going, you’ll need a whole field of them!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!