Listen up, love. You’re tied up in a row that’s got you knackered and gobsmacked. Pen down your feelings to nick a bit of calm. This might even shine a light on what’s really tickling your fancy these days, not that it’s anyone’s business but your own. There’s a keen bean dying to share their world with you, but you’re not about to rush in, are you? Take a moment, darling, there’s no harm in playing hard to get. Your lucky phrase for the day is “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.” A bit of a tongue twister, that one, but it’s sure to get a few laughs at the pub. Just remember, it’s only lucky if you can actually say it three times fast without spitting your pint out.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!