Blimey! You’re about to shell out a bit more dosh than you thought for that shiny new thing you’ve been scrimping for. But not to worry, this costly gizmo will pay for itself in the long run, just like a fifty-year-old bottle of Scotch – the hangover lasts for days, but the memories last a lifetime! Now, let’s chinwag about your love life, it’s hotter than a vindaloo curry in a heatwave. Let your beloved lavish you with affection, and if they hand over a posh prezzie, grab it with both hands and say “ta very much!”. Don’t be a snooty git, just consider it a return on all that emotional investment you’ve been making. Here’s your lucky charm: A four-leaf clover. Why? Because if you can find one of those in this concrete jungle, you’re bloody well luckier than you think! And remember, the only thing luckier than a four-leaf clover is a five-leaf clover, but that’s probably just a mutant, so maybe don’t bring that one home.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!