You’ve got a mind more colourful than a unicorn on acid, and artistic talents that could make Picasso look like he’s finger-painting. But, oh darling, it seems like there’s less time in your day than a mayfly’s lifespan. Paying the bills and keeping up with life’s demands is like being chased by a rabid squirrel, constantly nipping at your glittery, creative arse. It’s high time you told the world to sod off and let your imagination run as wild as a stag in mating season. As for your lucky charm, it’s a bloody flamingo feather. Yes, you heard it right. Why a flamingo feather? Well, have you ever seen a flamingo give a toss about anything? Exactly. It’s a reminder to keep your chin up, your colours bold, and to always stand on one leg when peeing…for balance, darling.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!