Blimey, brace yourself for some early morning tittle-tattle that’ll shake your career up like a teapot in a twister. You’re about to stumble upon a wad of cash, maybe a bung, a pay hike, or a cheeky little bonus for all that brown-nosing you’ve been doing. With your pockets getting heavier, you can finally pull your finger out and start on those DIY disasters you’ve been ignoring for donkey’s years. Lucky charm: A four-leaf clover. But remember, it’s only lucky if you didn’t nick it from a leprechaun, you thieving git.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!