Today, me old mucker, is a right proper day to knock about with your mates who speak the same language of madness as you, doing stuff that tickles your fancy. Why not drag it out all bleeding day? Whether you’re off for a tromp in the woods, sunning your bits at the seaside, or – heaven forbid – mad enough to run a bloomin’ marathon, just make sure it’s something that gets your jollies off. Your lucky charm for the day is a pair of worn-out trainers. They’ve seen more action than a Soho streetwalker and are just as tired and smelly. Don’t let that put you off though – they could be your ticket to avoiding a marathon debacle. Who knows, you might just trip over them and save yourself from the horror of actually having to run!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!